OUR EXECUTIVE BOARD
Dan Carr - Editor in Chief, Actor, Former Child
The Leader
Despite not having a beard, Dan has secured his second term as Supreme Leader. Beardless, fearless, and beautiful, Dan writes hilarious emails, communicates with our bureaucratic overlords, and is actually on OrgSync! When he’s not dealing swift justice to staff writers, he enjoys taking long walks, walking take longs, and longing walk takes.
Despite not having a beard, Dan has secured his second term as Supreme Leader. Beardless, fearless, and beautiful, Dan writes hilarious emails, communicates with our bureaucratic overlords, and is actually on OrgSync! When he’s not dealing swift justice to staff writers, he enjoys taking long walks, walking take longs, and longing walk takes.
Rowan Van Lare - Head of Writing, Former Child Actor
The Real Leader
Despite having a beard, Rowan brings the sex appeal to all Times New Roman meetings and events. Some say she’s just the Head of Writing, but people in the know know that she’s a whole lot more. When she’s not writing love poems to her third grade English teacher, she enjoys fantasizing about her third grade English teacher.
Despite having a beard, Rowan brings the sex appeal to all Times New Roman meetings and events. Some say she’s just the Head of Writing, but people in the know know that she’s a whole lot more. When she’s not writing love poems to her third grade English teacher, she enjoys fantasizing about her third grade English teacher.
Maddie Kelly - Co-Head of Design, Remover of Signs
The Backbone
None of it is true. Please. Believe me.
None of it is true. Please. Believe me.
Sarah Gordon - Co-Head of Design
The Vertebrae
All of it is true. Please. Believe me.
All of it is true. Please. Believe me.
Lior Zippel - Head of Communication
The Tweeter
Lior is the type of man who, if you find yourself struggling to make a vase in pottery class, will come behind you (with your consent and permission) and hold your hands tenderly, helping you to create the perfect clay product. His touch is firm yet gentle. His voice reassuring. When he does this, you realize what you want, what you've always wanted. Lior.
Lior is the type of man who, if you find yourself struggling to make a vase in pottery class, will come behind you (with your consent and permission) and hold your hands tenderly, helping you to create the perfect clay product. His touch is firm yet gentle. His voice reassuring. When he does this, you realize what you want, what you've always wanted. Lior.
Ben Harrold - Head of Video, Has a Head
The Video Guy
Ben also sings, dances and cartwheels. When he’s not singing, dancing and cartwheeling, he’s not having any fun.
Ben also sings, dances and cartwheels. When he’s not singing, dancing and cartwheeling, he’s not having any fun.
Emily Wharmby - Treasurer, Treasured Forever
The Federal Reserve
And why we can’t afford pizza at our meetings anymore.
And why we can’t afford pizza at our meetings anymore.
Delaney Bien - Student Representative, Oat Milk Drinker
The Oat Milker
Needlessly proud valedictorian of her Eighth Grade Class. Was unable to spell valedictorian at that time. Still unsure of how to spell valedictorian and has googled it three times while writing this. Now temporarily aware of how to spell valedictorian. Also intolerant of lactose. Some believe she is lactose intolerant. Rather than cows, Delaney milks oats.
Needlessly proud valedictorian of her Eighth Grade Class. Was unable to spell valedictorian at that time. Still unsure of how to spell valedictorian and has googled it three times while writing this. Now temporarily aware of how to spell valedictorian. Also intolerant of lactose. Some believe she is lactose intolerant. Rather than cows, Delaney milks oats.
Ryan Martin - Head of Performance
The Thespian
He's been performing his whole life! You think the happy, go-lucky person is really him? He suffers day after day in the pursuit of perfection, but he can never achieve it! Every day he clamors for a breakthrough that will lead him to Nirvana, but he will never find it - damn this cursed existence!
And scene. That, my friends, is called "performing," and he can show you how to do it!
He's been performing his whole life! You think the happy, go-lucky person is really him? He suffers day after day in the pursuit of perfection, but he can never achieve it! Every day he clamors for a breakthrough that will lead him to Nirvana, but he will never find it - damn this cursed existence!
And scene. That, my friends, is called "performing," and he can show you how to do it!
Jake Mohamed - King
The King
Jake Mohamed, The Bearded, First of His Name, King of Times New Roman, Arbiter of Truth, Dispenser of Wisdom, Writer of Articles, Winner of Movie Fests, Spreader of Peanut Butter, Licker of Jelly, Maker of Sandwiches The Unelected. May He Live Forever.
Jake Mohamed, The Bearded, First of His Name, King of Times New Roman, Arbiter of Truth, Dispenser of Wisdom, Writer of Articles, Winner of Movie Fests, Spreader of Peanut Butter, Licker of Jelly, Maker of Sandwiches The Unelected. May He Live Forever.
SOME OTHER PEOPLE WHO SOMETIMES SHOW UP
OUR RE-FOUNDERS
Greg Miele - Former Head Editor
Gus Castillo - Former President
Eric Tartar - Former Head Editor
Lucas Cohen - Former Head of Writing
Gerard Sockol - Former Member (Happily Deceased)
Tim Lyons - Former Former
Adheesh Lilaramani - Former Representative
Julio Huato - Former Treasurer
Ben Reed - King (Dethroned)
Jesus Christ, why are they all men? What year is it? 1908??
Excellent question. TNR was formed in this century, but it was formed almost entirely by Greg's roommates, whom he dragged to the first meeting. Thus, the embarrassing lack of women. Oh, and also cooties or whatever.